Last post.

Guess this is the last post for this blog. I don't think I could avoid anymore further about what had happened to my bestest friend, happy. For the past few days, I went back to look at the places where Happy and I go to everyday and used to go. Yesterday, I went to Pet World 2011. I have no idea what I was doing as well, all the things sold there were for dogs, but I don't even have one anymore. I didn't know what to do when a lady from a booth came up to me as I was passing by, with the question "Do you have a dog at home?" I shook my head and ran off quickly to the ladies with the sudden urge to cry. Later on, I went to the ring where all the dog sports competition was being held. Like any other audience, I stood there to watch. At the other side of the ring, I saw all the Pet-N-You people and their dogs inside, my face lighted up with a smile. After not knowing how long is it, where they were preparing for the agility ring setting up equipments I just stood aside to watch. Then, there was a slight tap on the back I turned around just to realized it was Wen Shing, she brought me inside to where everyone was. I couldn't even said a thank you at the moment, but I hope she knows how much it meant to me. There I was just sitting inside, and everyone was busy with what they have to do for the event. A few that saw me came around to said hi,then I was even being asked to take care of Groovy and Empress awhile. I started to pat Groovy, I began to look at the fur that was on my black tee, somehow it looks like how my tee always used to look like with all the dog fur on it, everyday without fail. I was never able to wear white pants at home, as mum would always be complaining the dog's fur everywhere and the white pants would get dog paw prints on it. So, believe it or not. I only have one white coloured pants in my life, and I wore it that day. But all these didn't really mattered to me anymore. Neither less, I was just there watching handlers running their dogs in the agility ring. Then I saw Pacco, I went over quietly to give her a pat. In some way, I'm just afraid that someone would suddenly come up with "How's happy?" and somehow it happened. But I just kept quiet and nod. I continued watching, as I watch I remember how the ring was our first trial, how she ran off halfway running. I held back my tears, telling myself "don't cry, don't cry, don't cry." And it worked somehow. As I was about to leave, I went over to say goodbye to Mr. Chan, he gave me a handshake and said "Take care." I turned around to leave, there auntie susie knowing I was to leave, she said " Come to school, play with Salvia." I knew exactly what it meant, going back to ymca on sundays. At that very moment, she hugged me and I hugged back, she whispered " I'm so sorry about your happy." I didn't know what to do, when I heard happy's name, the tears was flowing out so quickly, then I said goodbye once more and walked out quickly, and the next second I know I was crying. I tried to take a last glance at everyone but I couldnt, I didn't even get to say goodbye to all of them.

  On Friday morning, I went downstairs as usual it was the holidays my little cousin bro came over to stay for a few days. He went to the front gate and called out happy's name, but she didn't respond. He told me and I rushed to the gate and look around she wasn't outside, I went to the other side of the window and found her lying on the grass, I called her but she didn't get on her feet. I open the door with shaking hands and rush to her, she was still breathing but just lying down there and I was already crying when I carried her in, I put her down, she walked two steps and fell back down on the ground. At the time there was only my father at home and only he could drive. I asked him to take us to the vet, on the way I was crying with Happy in my arms. I went in, the vet did check ups for her and found a big ulcer on top of her gum, he said she might have eaten some acidic or poisonous. She was put on drips immediately, mum was here half an hour later. The vet asked us to go home, as they're taking care and getting ready to do a blood test for her. Around an hour later, we went back to the clinic. The vet explained that they have already send the sample of the blood to be tested in the lab, and hopefully they could fax the results to them by today as tomorrow was a public holiday and they will be closed. He also told us that her condition wasn't very unwell. She didn't had enough of blood and that they had to get the blood sample from her hind leg cos they couldn't find the veins on her front leg, and it's very high possibility that she might have taken something poisonous.We went in to look at her, the moment I saw her it breaks my heart. She was on drips, there was blood on the towel she's laying on, she couldn't even shake her tail when she saw us. The vet asked us to go back home again, and visit her again sometime later. We left and went back home again. Around 4pm, mum received a phone call from the vet, they told her, Happy's heartbeat stopped out of a sudden, they did a CPR, it came back, but we have to go see her for the last time. We arrived and I walked into the room, then I saw my best friend laying on the examination table with an oxygen mask around her mouth, she was in a coma. I didn't know if she heard me, but I ran up to the table and hugged her, I was crying and I kept repeating sorry endless times and I was begging her not to leave. I told her no one's going to go walks with me anymore. In the end, I couldn't sign that piece of paper that ends her life myself, I was being forced to go home. I kept crying and crying till myself falls asleep. As I was half awake, mum came into the room saying " The vet said, someone might wants to break into the house and so they could have poisoned the dog first by throwing in some food and she might have ate it. So she didn't get it during her walks,the blood test result shows that it was something's that such acid concentrated, half of her liver is gone."

I don't even know how to explain how much I've miss her for the past few days without her around. Every morning, I wake up hoping it's all just a bad dream, but it wasn't. The fact that first thing in the morning, waking up to see wasn't  Happy anymore, but a photo of Happy. The house's so quiet, is like there won't be such thing as "being home alone with happy" anymore. She's always there when I come home right after school, waiting. She's right beside when I'm eating. Every evening, the word "walk" just drives her insane. She's scared of the bicycle, she's scared of thunder and the rain. I always cross my fingers when we're out and it's raining, hoping she wouldn't crawl under the car to get herself stain black again. I still carry her around, even sometimes when we're going for walks, people who saw would go like "Isn't that dog a little too big to be carried?" I just give them a smile.

The weird noises you make when you're chewing on something and someone tries to take it away, how you would only dare to bite one person in your life and that's me, how you would squeak the duck when you want to play, 

I will miss how you always choose to go to me when mum asks to go out the house, how I always find you acting like you're sleeping when it's time for bath, how the word "food" would make you  awake even if you're in the middle of sleeping, 

 I will miss how I  always point to the stairs while I'm having food you immediately go into the touch position that I taught you, how we celebrate your birthdays for you every year, how others say you have the coolest pair of ears in the world, the sound your long nails make when you walk, 

 I will miss how you put your head down when I ask you to, the "who's your best friend?" trick, how I used to sneak you in my room when no one's at home, how you love to go for car rides, how you always mistaken the cars that you thought is mum's when we're going for walks and  then you would run after the car, 

I will miss how we used to practice agility every night, how you were so afraid of the tunnel but that time we finally got one at home and you actually liked it, how the word "cat" makes you go insane,

Thank you for appearing in my life, cos of you I get to make so make new friends and meet new people, especially in Pet-N-You.

Most of all, I will miss you

. It's only you,  and no one could ever replace you in my heart. 

Thank you for always being there, thank you for accompanying for the past 5 and a half years. 

If it wasn't you, I will never be who I am today,

I will never forget you,

Even if you don't excel in any agility nor obedience, 

You will always be the best dog ever in my heart, always.

I love you so much, and i'm so sorry.

Rest in peace, Happy.

2005 - 2011.